It’s all part of the Process of CREATING A LIFE BY DESIGN
By: Lori Ann Bandu
When I was designing my life by choice, I encountered many moments of self-doubt, moments where I knew it would be easier to quit and take any old job than to go on. But I didn’t value instant gratification. I valued creating a life by design that was in alignment to my values and truth. Something from the inside kept me in the process of uncovering what I, in particular, needed to experience, in order to pull everything I’ve pulled together to make the elemental Solutions into what it has to offer today. Today, after a decade, I come to this place where I now set my own schedule, can take time to do what I want, with whom I want.
I live where I want to live, and share as much time with my son as I want to. We enjoy life within our own means, and we have many adventures together. I love my boyfriend, and we enjoy a very supportive and liberating relationship. My friends are true and I make time and effort to build the connection. My business relationships are a reflection of my self-worth and I enjoy who I work with!
This wasn’t always the case. Re-evaluating my own values and Re-defining and Re-designing my own relationships took a long time. In fact it was actually my own life’s journey that designed and developed the processes I teach and coach today. And this is often the case for many entrepreneurs, visionaries and inventors.
While I was pre-occupied with “figuring things out” for years, I was busy doing product creation -though I didn’t know it at the time. I struggled with the typical North-American social system that encouraged getting a degree, and pushing for a career that would make a lot of money to buy a lot of things. I wanted more for my life. I wasn’t interested in the systems that were set up to help individuals be mediocre and stick to the status quo. So I often had to search on my own for teachers and mentors that could teach me and assist my personal development. I gained great wisdom from these experiences, some of which I will share with you here.
The first addresses those who were inspired from the depths of their being with an idea that became a passion and formulated a vision in their mind. At times, you or others around you, can’t see the finished product or business because in the present moment doesn’t resemble that at all! It alludes you, and feels out of reach, and you begin to wonder if it will ever come to fruition. If this ever happens, what you are forgetting is: There’s a process to all of this. And if we push it, we miss a lot of the important lessons. As Morcheeba sings on their album BIG CALM “It’s all part of the process, we all love looking down. All we want is some success, but the chance is never around.”
Don’t deny your process. Let it flow! It takes time! If things don’t seem to be happening fast enough, maybe just ask yourself if you’ve been conditioned to believe or “value” instant gratification.
I coach entrepreneurs to create their LIFE BY DESIGN with a MAP. Yes! There is a map that lays out the process an individual goes through to tap into the inner most depths of the individual, and the steps to develop this and get a supportive team around you, and gift your service to the world. I work with a Holistic Business Model, “map” that is the natural flow of creation. I most enjoy my work when I see the tension decrease in my clients as they let go of the self-imposed pressure to be at a certain stage of the game. If you are feeling this sort of pressure, stop and recognize where you are at the moment. And honor the process you are going through. Don’t rush it. Let go of trying to do something if it feels like you are forcing it. Now, albeit, it’s a lot easier to do that when you see a map in front of you and you know where you’ve been, where you are at, and what’s coming up next. But you can too.
Next you need to know that there are 52 steps to creating a vision. Now, I know that sounds like a lot, but chances are, if you are over 18, you’ve likely gotten through a few of them (think one step each week – how long would this journey take?) With the aid of The Inflow Map, I can determine where an individual is in this entrepreneurial journey, and precisely show where you’ve been and what you’re about to enter into. This degree of clarity relieves a tremendous amount of stress.
Stress like one of my mentoring clients was faced with this week.
Every Monday night from 6pm-9pm, I present the Co-Creative Process and teach another component of “The Art of Conscious Conversations.” This event is called Conscious Conversations Cafes. (Facebook us!) This past week I was able to address one of the stresses I was referring to in the paragraph above, when a new-comer to the group, announced that what he was witnessing was “not an operating business.”
In his statement, I recognized the naivety of someone from the outside looking at a group, and not seeing the accomplishments they’ve already made, and completely unaware of process. IT TAKES TIME TO DEVELOP ANYTHING. Period. My partner always refers to building a building. He says for months people walk by along the sidewalk and they say “yeah, something must be going up over there, there’s a lot of equipment around. But I can’t see anything yet.”
The longest period of building any building, is the time put in on the foundation. And since it’s all below ground-level, those walking by, can not actually see it manifesting. Until one day, in what seems to be all of a sudden, POOF! A building stands tall and erect. The doors swing open and people with briefcases are walking in and out day after day. Your foundation, your core essence, takes time to get to know and be created. You’ll travel on many paths and ideas will come your way, and you’ll at times, perhaps feel like you spin in circles and never accomplish anything. Until one day, it seems to all begin to fit together.
Then insights come to you. You have epiphanies and say things like “Ah! Now I realize why that happened to me – This came out of that. And it is actually a key component to my business.” Following this “getting to know your self and designing your product/service” and lifestyle so that you may live the life you want – For as I’ve said before, how you live your day is how you live your life.
My company takes the stand that there are basically 2 ways to extend yourself and your product/service to “the market.” The first is the old paradigm way, commonly known as “Marketing.” I will quote the character “Skat” from the movie “SYRUP.” “Marketing starts with an unfulfilled need in the market place and figures out how to sell to it.”
Creating Your Life by Design, aka “ART”… “starts with an IDEA and figures out how to sell it, if at all.” You can’t force ideas to turn up when you need them, Skat continues, they just do or they don’t. And that’s they way it is for many entrepreneurial spirits. Their “idea” either hasn’t shown up yet really – and they are in a process of deigning it (though they don’t realize this), or it has shown up, and it is alive in them, and they can’t seem to think of doing anything else that doesn’t include this idea.
But, again, as the character Skat says about art vs. marketing … Art makes better stuff, but a lot of the time there’s no market for it. Where as marketing makes more money, but a lot of the time the idea sucks. I implore you to consider this: YOU, decide what you want to value in life, and what you want to place your attention on. Energy flows where attention goes. And if you choose to place your attention in alignment with your values, your vision will yield you some results.
If you want to serve the larger earth-family with the gift of you being yourself and offering what you naturally do, then you will have to honor the time it takes to go through the process necessary to find it. This can take months and years. As I said earlier, you’ve already likely gotten through many of the 52 steps. Especially if you are formulating the idea already.
You can build a supportive life around your gift! You can “do” life in a way that is in alignment to your values and desire for fulfilling relationships. Hang in there. Whether you are re-discovering yourself, or uncovering yourself for the first time, it is worth it. It’s all part of the process. And its worth doing the work you have to, to grow beyond any patterns or old-programming that holds you back. You can liberate your own self, and begin to honestly communicate in safe environments, and build yourself, your business simultaneously as you begin to build relationships of value that support the manifestation of your vision.
Building Relationships of Value is a process itself. I’d be happy to show you how to do this, as well as share the Holistic Business Model and Map with anyone who wants to know more. Just send me an email, and let me know you’ve read this article. I will reach out to you and be happy to offer you a complimentary Discovery Call to support your journey. As a quote hanging in my office says “ Tranquility is the peace that comes when energies are in harmony and relationships are in balance.” Reach out, and always take the next step. Those who have been there before you, will understand and always be willing to lend you a helping hand.